Hello everyone and welcome to my Believe Stream blog. I am so excited about helping you and to share my experiences about any area in life.
Today, I want to write about how to deal with a narcissist when they turn people against you. The reason for this today’s topic is because I know how frustrating and hurtful this could be and I want to help you
As we know narcissistic people are known for their destructive socially and want to weaken your support structure. Anyone who has had the misfortune of dealing with narcissist know what I am talking about right now. Narcissists also cannot deal with reality because it contradicts what they want to say about you to be true and create the emotions and stories so people would believe them. They also do not care about the consequences because they are delusional and lying for them is just normality. Framing you to look like the bad guy and twist every word you say is just a way for them to feel they are in control and they can control you.
Here are five easy ways to help dealing with the narcissist when they turn people against you.
- See the narcissist for who they really are
Sometimes it is easy to make excuses for people we love because we are afraid of feeling hurt or we do not want to acknowledge the truth. Narcissists are vile people, and they love to take advantage of others. People with narcissist disorder are unable to handle anything they perceive as criticism and they will blame you for their own actions. As a result, they react unreasonably and start their flying monkeys’ scheme. Narcissists are self-centred and have lack of empathy and consideration for the people that they hurt. They are very manipulative and patronizing and demanding control. Make sure you see them for who they truly are and do not take anything they say or do personally, so you will not feed their ego or let them have control over you.
- Do not react
I know it is difficult and I know that you feel hurt and what the narcissist did is unjust. However, if you react you have given the narcissist what they want which is control and power. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is do not react. Our intense emotions towards the narcissists will give them power and you do not want that. You do not need to justify to anyone how good person you are. People will believe what they want to believe. You can not control what feel think of believe but you are only can control yourself. If someone believes terrible things about you, I want you not to get upset and think about it as a blessing as you do not want such people in your life. The good person in your network will approach you to enquire about the situation and hear your side of the fabricated stories by the narcissist. As for the other people who believe lies about you, all you must ignore them and cut them out of your circle and do not react to them whatsoever.
- Find a support system
This is very important one as it provides a level of accountability to help you achieve your goals or overcome adversity. You must find support system to help you going through such difficult time and emotions. You can do that by volunteering or join groups or activities. You can also use online resources to help you and connect with other people like you. Invite family or friends to meet and socialise and just talk and it will make you feel great and you will feel supported and understood. If you cannot feel free to reach out and follow my channel my goal is give you support and achieve a happy successful life.
- Do not focus on the narcissist
As I mentioned before, narcissists love attention and love to feel in control. They are power hungry and will do everything to feel in control and power. The more attention you give them the more it feeds their ego and the happier they will be. So, focus on yourself and your personal development. No matter how unjust their behaviour is and how hurt you are I want you to focus on yourself. Take charge of your life and make it a priority to have some time for yourself. If you have children tell your children, it is now mummy’s time to take care of herself and would like some time for herself. Children are amazing and will understand, also you will be raising your children to acknowledge their feeling and have healthy environment and relationship.
- Remember it is not your fault
I would like to emphasize on this point because sometimes we get trapped in the negative cycle of negative thinking and we start blaming ourselves for what happened. I too guilty of this and because I have the right support system, they immediately remind me that it is not my fault and they give me the support I needed. You know the truth and do not let anyone take that away from you. Narcissist will never admit their mistakes or even take responsibility however you can take responsibility for your own actions only. Do not belittle yourself to the narcissist ego and blame yourself. Read and say positive affirmation daily to help you. Insist on loving yourself and the good people around. Take care of yourself and your mental health. If you feel you need help get professional help and support and do not be afraid to reach out to the right people.
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