Today I want to discuss the narcissist scapegoating. First, I would like to explain what is scapegoating.
Scapegoating is when a person is blamed for the mistakes or suffering of others.
In a narcissist relationship, the narcissist uses scapegoating a lot, and this can be by blaming you for their mistakes, faults, insecurities, or failures instead of taking responsibility.
Scapegoating is another type of emotional abuse. It can cause a lot of psychological issues that is why it is important to recognize it and then deal with it.
Here are five ways you can use when dealing with the narcissist scapegoating
- Do not React
When the narcissist blames you for their faults and mistakes, the best way for you to handle this by not reacting.
The narcissist will do everything in their power to make you the cause of all the problems. They also want to prove that to everyone and to show them that you are the crazy or horrible person to maintain their image. Remember that the narcissist will never take responsibility for her/his actions. It is difficult for the narcissist to accept that they contributed to the cause of the problems as they see themselves as victims, so you must take responsibility for your actions.
2- Stop communication
It is so important that you stop any communication with the narcissist. The narcissist loves to have communication or conversation with you because it allows them to fabricate more stories about you and to provoke you by manipulating what you say to them.
It is importantto them to talk to you for their smear campaign and they have no conscious about it and they want people to think that you are unstable or you are a terrible person. so, the best way to protect yourself is to stop or limit any type of communication with the narcissist
3- Set strong boundaries
You must take some time and think how and what are your boundaries with the narcissist if you cannot go no contact. Figure out what are you willing and not willing to tolerate from the narcissist or his circle of friends or supporters.
Once you have established strong and clear boundaries, normally healthy people will respect them and you can be yourself without the fear of judgment. However, with the narcissist, it is going to be a problem, and they will start their narcissistic rage. You have to be clear and no matter what the narcissist say or do, you must stick to your boundaries and never change it for them but if you have to change them it has to be because you want it and for you own good.
4- Take good care of your emotional needs
It is extremely important to have compassion for yourself and accept the pain that the narcissist conflict on you. Remember it has been a difficult journey and you need to forgive yourself and allow yourself to grieve for the loss of that relationship. Once you have forgiven yourself, you will be able to make peace with yourself. Understand that you are worthy and beautiful and practice your self-love every day. Also, look at the situation as a great learning experience and you will be able to grow and expand yourself to be a great person. focus and express gratitude every day and you will see the dramatic change in your life when you have mastered compassion for yourself and accepting your emotions.
5- Seek professional help
Scapegoating can lead to many psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and many more mental illnesses. Recognise and accept if you are not feeling well and get professional support. Life can be overwhelming at times with the narcissist abuse and sometimes it is best to speak to someone unbiased and able to give you support and you can express yourself without fear.
Whatever you are feeling it is important to acknowledge them and decide that you will not play the narcissist game and focus on your recovery.
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