How to deal with aggressive people?

From time to time, we encounter an aggressive person. It makes us feel terrible as we feel that the aggression maybe is pointed at us however this is not true. The person gets aggressive when he/she cannot handle the situation and cannot handle their emotions that is why he/she use aggression to cover up the true feeling. There are different forms of aggression such as passive, expressive, or even violent aggression this is when you have to defend yourself and phone the police. Aggression is a type of bullying and once recognised you will be able to take actions to protect yourself and avoid these people. 

Narcissists are excellent at being expressively aggressive or even violent sometimes in order to provoke you so remember to get protection and report it to the authorises.

Rather than get aggressive yourself here are few tips to help you when dealing with an aggressive person. These 5 tips will help you to manage the situation and attempt to avoid any conflict.

1-         Don’t take it personally

Our ego plays a big role when taking things personally. When we feel hurt or disrespected it is our ego that responds the majority of the time. When a person is aggressive towards you. You need to ask yourself first, is what they are saying to you is true? 99% of the time it is not true. So do not worry about it nor about what the person says or think about you. The only reason the person is aggressive is to get a reaction out of you and to lower your self-esteem. At the end of the day, it is you who can control your emotions and your behaviour. Also, know your worth it doesn’t matter what that person says to you. You need to know who you are and what is true to you. Remember it is not about you at all and look at the situation from another perceptive and intention. Taking things personally will put a hold on your happiness and your peace of mind. 

2-         Try to understand why they are aggressive

When a person is aggressive could be because of many reasons such as they are having a bad day, they received bad news, accidental aggression and was not intentional or even it is in the person’s nature to be aggressive. There is no excuse for the person behaviour however it will help you when you are trying to understand what happens to not take it personally and have some empathy for the person. Understand that we all react differently to adversities and difficulties and some people use aggression as a form of release of stress. It is still not an excuse, but it will give insights into where the person coming from and have some compassion for them. 

3–         Trust your instincts 

Trusting your intuition is important as your intuition can sense thinking deeper than us. When you listen to your intuition you will avoid aggression and unhealthy relationships. The process of trusting your instincts takes practice and it may not be easy at the beginning of your journey. In order to start trusting your intuition and instincts, you will need to slow down and calm your mind. It is important that you allow the mind to be clear and calm from any distractions and you could do that simply by mediation or even taking a vacation to allow the mind to reset. Secondly, pay attention to your feelings and how it affects your wellbeing. Lastly, practice is the observer and notice what is happening around you and, in your body, and mind. Once you have developed and build your intuition muscle you will notice your life improves and your life is just getting better and better. 

4-         Report the aggression 

If the person you are dealing with is at a workplace or even a stranger and you feel threatened. It is important that you report the abusive behaviour either to the company you are working for or even to the police. You should get support and protection to stop that person from being threatening to you. Also, make sure you write the instance down and tell someone you trust about what is happening in order to protect yourself. Don’t tolerate any threats I believe once a threat has been made intentionally or not it is still a threat and should have not been made. Do not take any threats lightly and make sure you report such incidents to the police, or the right authorises. 

5-         Be assertive with the person

Being assertive is a powerful tool when dealing with aggression. Being assertive is being direct and respectful at the same time of other people and their rights. Assertiveness will result in great communication and understanding of personal behaviour as well as building healthy relationships. Being assertive will help you maintain your calm and clear understanding behaviour and will allow you to listen to the person’s viewpoint without taking it personally. Your communication style is clear, and you will be able to explain your feeling and your needs if needed. Also, it will allow you to win any situation as you are trying to understand the situation and look for solutions.

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