How To Protect Yourself Against The Narcissist During the Relationship?

So, if you live with a narcissist or if you suspect that the person you are living with is a narcissist. It is quite difficult to live with that person. 

Do you have a narcissist in your life? Or do you suspect that the person you are with is a narcissist? 

Narcissists are toxic and dangerous people to be around. Knowing that you are dealing with a narcissist in your life is not enough. You have to protect yourself against the narcissist and have a safe plan to exit the relationship. When the narcissist know that you know what he or she is then the narcissist will become aggressive, and you will face narcissistic rage. Overcoming the narcissistic attacks in your life is difficult and you have to protect yourself in order to thrive and live in peace. There are many psychological effects when you are dealing with a pathological narcissist. From experiencing narcissistic rage, manipulations and the person become angry and aggressive. You will find out the narcissist is never satisfied and easily agitated by every little thing. If you are at the beginning of your relationship with a narcissist you will be in the love-bombing phase and you will not notice any of that however over time, you will notice that the person is cold and manipulative then things get worse. You will notice also that the person is unfaithful and will build the image among the people he or she knows that you are the unfaithful one. The narcissistic person will causes you a lot of stress to you and your body goes through health issues and they differ from one individual to another. 

How to learn and stand up for yourself against the narcissist? Here I have few steps that you can take in order to protect yourself if you are still in a relationship with the narcissist. 

1-         Understand narcissism and accept it is not your fault

Narcissism is a narcissistic personality disorder. It is a type of mental health disorder normally happens when the person has one or two parents which are narcissists themselves. People with narcissistic disorder have an inflated sense of importance and allows needs attention and admiration from other people around them. They also lack empathy for others, and they have fragile self-esteem and are completely insecure. People with narcissistic disorder always move around from job to job or from one relationship to another because they are unfulfilled and empty from the inside. Narcissists have difficulty understanding emotions or behaviour. 

Narcissists insist on having the best of everything, even go shopping and buy expensive items even they didn’t have the money just to look rich and better than everyone else. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of importance and entitlement. Narcissists believe that they are superior and take advantage of others. being around a narcissist you will eventually get sick because of the toxic behaviour of the narcissist. 

Narcissists cannot handle criticism or rejection very well. They become angry and impatient or even violent in some instant. They feel depressed if they cannot be perceived as a perfect person. 

Sadly, a person with a narcissist personality disorder never recognizes their mental health problem nor their dysfunctional behaviour. They will never have a long last relationship with people because of their abusive nature and belittling and manipulating others for their gains. 

2-         Ignore the narcissist 

I understand you are tired and frustrated about the continuous change in your relationship by the narcissist and abuse. However, I want you to understand that you have to be in control of your emotions and completely ignore the narcissist. The narcissist is exhausted and disrespected in your life however they cannot control how you react. The only reason for humiliation is to provoke you and get a reaction out of you to prove to everyone their point and their lies about you. 

When you ignore the narcissists, they will take it as if you are personally attacking them. They will never respect the decision that you want to be away from them.  Instead, they will take every action against you in order to remedy their fake egos and you simply don’t have to tolerate it. the energy around the narcissist will drain you and leave you to die. It is toxic behaviour and you do not need to be part of or contribute to their false self and insecurities. 

So, ignore the narcissist and do not react or respond to her or him in any way. do not give up your time easily to such a person. Choose to be calm and focus on your healing and your life. 

3-         Get a support system

If you cannot leave the narcissist immediately it is important that you find a support group or a therapist to help you in your journey. Spending so much time with a dysfunctional person will not help you instead it will harm you mentally and physically which will leave you emotionally drained. Get active with your close friends and make new relationships to build you up and give you strength until you leave the narcissist. Do not be afraid to reach out to people who love you and you know will help you. Do not suffer alone. I absolutely know it is not easy as I have been there myself. However, what helped me was my close friends and professional advice that guided me through my difficulties, and I was able to speak to them freely about what is happening in my life until I finally took the step to protect myself and I’ve had enough. Remember you are not alone, and you will be surprised at how many people experienced the same as you. 

4-         Set strong boundaries 

While you are getting the support network that you need and trying to figure things out. It is important that you set strong boundaries with the narcissist. Remember the narcissistic person is self-absorbed and will never respect your boundaries. The narcissist behaviour will get worse they will snoop around your personal things. They will feel entitled to go through your things and emails and phone. Even take credit for your own achievement and say it was them who made you achieve those things. Your personal space will be completely invaded and that is why it is so important that you set strong and clear boundaries. Expect the narcissist to push back and become aggressive or even make up their own unrealistic boundaries to make you change your boundaries. The narcissist will manipulate you and try and make you feel guilty in setting boundaries in the first place. However, be prepared and do not fall into their manipulation trap and stay your ground. 

5-         Keep a record of everything

When you are suffering from narcissistic abuse you are left with no option but to protect yourself. You have to learn how to stand up for yourself and have the courage to walk away from that toxic person. Once you have the knowledge, support system and set up strong boundaries make sure you keep a record of everything that narcissists do to you. Remember the narcissist has a fragile ego and think skin and self-loathing behaviour. Be careful when you are around that person and keep a record away from them. Keep all your documents safe somewhere safe or with a trusted friend. Change your accounts and emails if you have to in order to protect yourself. Make sure you report any threats or aggression immediately to the police and do not take any threats lightly. 

Finally, if you have been or experiencing narcissistic abuse remember you are a strong and amazing human being. Never feel guilty or shame the narcissist took advantage of your good heart and generosity do not blame yourself for anything and focus on your life and your future. That is the best revenge you give the narcissist. 

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