A lot of people ask me why letting go is so hard? And why we can’t let go of things easily?
Why letting go is so hard and difficult? Well, there are various reasons why letting go is so hard and difficult. For example, could be because of fear of what we might lose if we let go. Also, holding onto the past is a habit where we conditioned our mind, and we are afraid of the withdrawal symptoms if we let go. I also believe that one of the things that connect us all as humans is the ability to feel pain and connect with each other. It is easy to keep talking about the hurtful situations or events to other people which will result in feeling the feelings again. Also, another reason is that the pain became part of us and our identity and losing it means losing our identity. Sometimes it is easier to not let go and not taking any chances at all because it makes us feel comfortable and as I mentioned earlier, we are conditioned to it.
We tend to play our past mistakes over and over again in our head and allowing the feelings of anger, hurt, shame and regret to change us and subsequently will change our future. We hold on to those feelings and let go of our power to such negative energy. Not to mention the adverse health effects that we may experience because of holding on to those feelings and not letting go and moving forward.
Never think it is too late to let go. There will always be time for you to practice letting go and take a chance of life and feel peaceful. Here are my top five tips to help you let go and move forward.
Resentment and hate are strong negative emotions that you do not want to keep. The more you resent other people the more you will be resenting yourself. Resentment is a two-way street and if you think you are not affected by it is not true. I am not asking you to forget if someone hurt you and caused you harm, I am asking you to forgive the person but never forget and keep your distance. When you forgive people, you are freeing yourself from all those negative emotions that I mentioned earlier. Put things in perceptive and try to understand where people are coming from that way you won’t feel resentment as you will be understanding how people might feel or do what they do. Additionally, do not blame people and do not make yourself the victim. It is reasonable to accept an apology and forgive those who did something to you. Blaming anyone for your pain will make that person have power over your emotions and mental health. That is why it is important to forgive and understand then move on with your life.
2- Be kind to yourself
Treat yourself as if you were treating someone you love. It is important that you do not blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Take responsibility for your actions and no other. You are not in control of other people, but you are in control of yourself. Take your role in the situation and acknowledge any mistakes if you have made any then put it behind you and move on. Beating yourself up will not help you to let go but instead it will hold you back and make you repeat the situations in your head over and over again. Be gentle and kind to yourself and most importantly forgive yourself. Learn from any mistakes and move forward.
3- Seek professional help
There is no shame in asking for help and speak to a counsellor or a psychologist. If you are really struggling to let, go and you are having negative side effects and it is affecting your mental health. It is important that you go to the doctor and get professional help. There is nothing wrong with turning to a professional for help and do not be ashamed of going. The professional will guide you accordingly as they are certified to help you overcome your problems and help you to let go.
I personally love meditation as it helped me a lot throughout my journey whenever I was upset, sad, angry, confused or even to let go. Meditations will help you calm your emotions and gain clarity about the situations. It will help you stay positive and let control of things that you cannot control in your life. When you meditate you are monitoring your thoughts and what triggers might lead you to hold on to situations that don’t serve you. As you start taking control of your thoughts and emotions you will develop a great and strong inner strength to make the decision to let go. This will empower you and increase your self-esteem and confidence. You will also make better constructive decisions rather than emotional ones.
5- Focus on yourself
It is very easy to be dragged into the negative cycle in our mind and let it ruin our life. Not focusing on yourself and how you love yourself will make you feel lost. This will result in not letting go of hurtful situations or pain. It is important that you spend some time on yourself and reconnecting your emotions and feelings. There are many things that you can do to help you focus on yourself, for example, exercising each time you exercise you will be reminded of love, and you will appreciate yourself more. When you focus on yourself you will be able to connect with your core values and beliefs. The more you focus on yourself, the more you will like yourself. It will help you to be kind to other people and it will help you to let go easily.
The bottom line is letting go will free you. You are letting go of the pain and suffering that is holding you back. Things that do not serve you will be no longer be in your life. You will build healthy relationships and attract healthier people in your life. Learning to let go will grow you emotionally and mentally which will bring you happiness and success.
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