How to find yourself again after leaving a narcissistic abusive relationship?

Understanding that you are not alone when you are out of a narcissistic abuse relationship plays a big role in your recovery. It is normal to feel lost sometimes or something is missing or even blame yourself. These are normal feelings, and others who went through the same thing truly understand what you are going through. 

Trying to find yourself again, and figure out who you were is not an easy task after such an experience. First, you have to make it clear to yourself that you deserve more. You deserve something real and beautiful. Go back to your roots, family, and friends. Go back to the things that make you happy.

In my situation, my biggest battle was with finding who I was and getting closer to GOD. I embraced the fact that my narcissist is dysfunctional and that he needs help, and I cannot give that to him. I kept myself busy focusing on my family, friends, and my career. 

I connected with amazing people who went through the same thing, and we were able to provide support to each other. I found it helpful to learn from other people and I believe it makes us good people and it helps to restore your faith that there are good people around us and build trust. It is an awesome thing to learn through other people’s experiences and it will help you to accept your own experience.

If you feel you need to Cry, go ahead and cry. Do not bottle your emotions up and let your tears out, it will do you a great favour in your recovery and finding yourself. 

Take small baby steps When you’re ready to take those steps, force yourself to do things that you like or enjoy. Meditate and use affirmation to reprogram your subconscious mind in your healing process. I have made a whole meditation recovery from narcissistic abuse, and you can use it. I will leave the link in the description box below.

Also, in your recovery from the narcissistic abuse and from my own experience as well; I would say the first and most important thing is to pay very little attention to the narcissist. Completely focus on yourself, how you educate yourself and on healing. 

Once you pay little attention to the narcissist, you stopped blaming yourself or questioning yourself. Then your healing process truly starts. 

You can also speak with a professional counsellor/therapist. It is important that you seek professional help first before anyone else in my opinion. However, you can do whatever you feel fit and safe for you. 

You need to practice self-love daily and monitor your negative thoughts. REALLY important, very hard at first but it is important. Once you have done that you will see a huge change in your life. Your emotional well-being has suffered the most from the narcissist. So, you need to learn to understand this. Then, accept that your emotions will be all over the place during this time of recovery however say to yourself that you will recover and heal, and this is when self-talk comes into play and how you regulate that in a positive way. 

Know that whatever you are going through now from the Narcissist is not your fault. The narcissist chipped your inner beauty, your generosity, and your good heart because they are dead from the inside. So, try small things one day at a time and reward yourself for that. As I said before you need to go back to the things that you enjoy. Or even learn a new skill. Take plenty of time to rest and take care of yourself. Learn also to stay away from people who add more stress to your life or even criticize you for any reason. 

My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry you are going through this, but you know what I can tell you it does ease gradually and you will recover you do become a very different person within the process. You become a more resilient version of yourself. I want to assure you that once you have recovered and found yourself again. You will experience life from a new beautiful lens that you would not want to trade. You are now open and experience life differently from a good place. believe me, it is from my experience I say this, you will discover that you love life and the people around you. 

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