It is challenging and exhausting when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissists cannot take responsibility for their actions and cannot handle separation well especially if you were the one who discarded and ended the relationship with the narcissist.
Narcissists will blame you for the current situations and immediately will start turning people against you and your children even if you have any children. So be prepared for a storm of narcissistic rage and probably abuse.
So, how the narcissist reacts to being dumped?
One thing I want to understand is the narcissist cannot handle separation or divorce well at all. The narcissists will make everything is about him or her and will say things like “how can you do this me” or blame for the preparation and say, “it is your fault we are getting separated”. The narcissist will never acknowledge that he or she made you feel miserable and unhappy that is why you are ending the relationship.
If you ended the relationship because the narcissist was unfaithful the narcissist will deny it completely and will say that you are paranoid and insecure. On one occasion the narcissist may even tell you that he or she cheated because of your behaviour and shift the blame to you. This is to manipulate you and make you change your mind because the narcissist hates being dumped.
When you end the relationship with the narcissist, expect that he or she is unpredictable, and you will experience narcissistic abuse which gets ugly. The reason for that is because you lack responsibility and are incapable of feeling empathy for others.
If you are divorcing the narcissist expect that he or she will drag the divorce in court as long as they can so they can abuse. I experienced this myself. Remember that the narcissist will take any opportunity to drag you through the court system. Which is fine all you have to do is to remain calm and nothing stays forever it may take one or two or even more years to divorce the narcissist but eventually you divorce him or her. So do not be discouraged and do you any way and live your life and enjoy it too maximum.
Another thing the narcissist will do if you have children the narcissist is that he or she will not pay child support unless ordered by the court. Again, this is because they lack responsibility, and they only love themselves. I do not believe that the narcissist is capable of loving anyone else apart from themselves. Also, expect the narcissist would want to fight for custody and make you look as if you are crazy. Such tactics are just demeaning. It simply proves the narcissistic disorder and how dysfunctional the narcissist is. In some cases, the narcissist may even get violent such as try to hit you or stalk in your own home, stealing or even make his or her flying monkeys or enablers do bad things to you. It is serious and you must protect yourself until the narcissist finds another narcissistic supply.
If you decide to go no contact with the narcissist because of all of the above. It will make things worse because the narcissist hates it when you go no contact. When I did that, I was harassed by the narcissist, and he went mad, so I had to get a court order to protect myself from him. The narcissist wants to have the luxury to come and abuse you whenever he or she wants. Since you are putting a stop to that it will make the narcissist emotionally hurt and drives them crazy. The narcissist may love to bomb you again, pay you expensive gifts or make people reach out to you to trick you so you would take them back. Alternatively, the narcissist can harass you as I mentioned earlier to scare you so you would give in and take them back because you are scared until they themselves discard you.
One of the things the narcissist may do when you dump them is to try and harm your reputation. For example, they may go around people including family and friends and say that you cheated, and you were unfaithful. As well as the narcissist may even say that you are crazy and unbearable to live with. All that just to make you look bad and to make yourself or yourself look as if they are victims and they did nothing wrong for the relationship to end.
If you try to be civil and have a conversation with a narcissist or even trying to co-parent with the narcissist will never work. The reason is the narcissist does not want you to look good or civil they want to look like he or she was the victim, and you are the villain. Being civil to the narcissist is beneath them.
The bottom line is the narcissist reaction is very unpredictable and you never know what the narcissist may do. You have to protect yourself in every way. report any threats or any abuse to the right authorities. I will leave few links down below if you are experiencing abuse. If the narcissist becomes violent do not hesitate a second and immediately phone the police to protect yourself.
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