how does a narcissist provoke you? How to deal with it?

Have you ever noticed that a narcissist is usually overly negative and bad-tempered when you are doing something nice or feel that you are satisfied? Narcissists are well known for their tactics and deliberate provocation known as baiting. The narcissist deliberately provokes you as he or she loves to see you emotionally react. 

So, how does a narcissist provoke you? Well, the narcissist will create crazy arguments that it does not make sense to anyone, and it makes you feel confused. If you make a comment or express an opinion the narcissist will lash out at you. You are dared to express yourself or trying to understand the situation. The only reason for the crazy argument is to make you lose your mind and to distract you from the narcissist motivates. In addition, the crazy-making arguments is another way for the narcissist to get supply and feed his or her ego. When you react to the crazy-making arguments it gives the narcissist a great pleasure to see you react and his or her mission accomplished. For example, right before you go out and make friends or even going for a holiday the narcissist will make something up to get you angry or start a crazy argument to make you lose your mind before you meet people. That way you will look like a crazy person in front of people if you react to their manipulation. The narcissist will be happy because he or she succeeded in provoking you and achieved success in their campaign against you to make himself or herself look like a victim. 

One of the narcissist tactics that he or she uses to provoke you is to make you jealous. For example, the narcissist will comment on how attractive another person is to make you feel insecure and jealous. Also, the narcissist will be having affairs and secretive relationships and secret calls and messages to make you jealous. The narcissist will make sure that you hear the phone call and see the messages then manipulate afterwards when you get angry to make you insecure and you will feel even more confused about what is happening. One of the main things that you need to put in mind here is that the narcissist is never faithful and continuously make you feel jealous is to make you under his or her control. 

Another narcissistic tactic to provoke you is giving you the silent treatment when he or she cannot provoke you and know that you are a strong person. This is tactic comes later after he or she knows that you are not easily provoked. This happened to me when my ex-narcissist jealous techniques and crazy argument did not work on me, and I remained calm and in control of my emotions, he started the silent treatment techniques where he has gone for days not taking care of our family and our children and behaviour is just irrational in order to provoke me. The silent treatment is unbearable when you have a family and children to look after, and the person does not acknowledge his or her responsibilities. The silent or cold treatment activates the brain area of pain and that is why it works sometimes when you are not aware of your emotions as you would feel pain and neglected. 

However, this is different from one person to another. The narcissist will use many techniques to provoke you as well such as emotional invalidation and gaslighting. The narcissist will create crazy arguments to serve that purpose. The more you react to the narcissist manipulation the more you will be fuelling the narcissist and providing a narcissistic supply to him or her. Narcissists are notorious for ruthlessly manipulating others for their gains. Pay attention when you get the silent treatment and treat it as a great opportunity to move forward and leave the narcissist. 

How to deal with the narcissist when he or she tries to tries to provoke you?

Here are few tips to help you when the narcissist attempt to provoke you:

1-         Withdraw from the crazy argument 

It is best to withdraw from the argument to protect yourself when you are with the narcissist. The narcissist will try and make everything in his or her power to provoke you. However, I believe that we are in charge of our emotions no matter what the narcissist says to us we have to remain calm and withdraw ourselves from the conversation until we can think clearly and make good decisions. Also, avoid the narcissist from going with you to family and friends as he or she will use that to make you look like a crazy person. When I discovered the narcissist plan to provoke me, I immediately stop going out with the person due to their mental instability and I protected myself. Protect yourself and put your mental health first. 

2-         Don’t react to the jealously tactic

When the narcissist tries to make you jealous it is best to ignore him or her. Any person who tries to undermine you and who you are as a person does not deserve you. Remove yourself from the situation and refuse to react to the narcissist indecent behaviour. It is revolting sickening behaviour and you do not want to be part of any of it. Take it as an opportunity to leave the narcissist and figure out your life. You deserve a person who loves you and is faithful to you and respect you. The narcissists will never love you or love anyone apart from themselves.  You should never compete with another person for love. 

3-         Recognise the manipulation during the silent treatment

Take the opportunity when the narcissist gives you the silent treatment to walk away from that person. Recognise you are being mentally abused by the narcissist to provoke you and make you lose control of your emotions. I believe no one should be treated like this and that anyone should treat you with respect and honour. Anyone who mistreats you or uses the silent treatment is unworthy of you. 

Finally, anyone who tries to create chaos in your life to manipulate and provoke you does not deserve to be part of your life. Remove yourself from such manipulation and abuse. You do not have to prove to anyone your worth. You know who you are and you should never allow anyone to make you think otherwise.

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