So, today we are going to talk about how the narcissist breaks up with you.
When you are dating a narcissist, you feel that you are over the moon, and you met the one. Then, the narcissist devalues you, and you are confused about what has happened. You are struggling in a relationship with the narcissist. You have no idea that the charismatic charmer that you fall in love with was fake and the person has no empathy and trying to hurt you in any possible way.
Over time you will see that you are with a dysfunctional person. Once the narcissist realises that his mask is coming off and you can see, who he or she is. Then, you will experience narcissistic tactics in order to discard you and make you look like the villain.
Narcissists cannot stay in one relationship for a long period of time because they lack commitment and love. Narcissists even if they are in the relationship, they are known for being unfaithful and always looking for a new supply. So, what happens when the narcissist is done with you? How the narcissist breaks up with you?
Well, the narcissist decides to end the relationship with you, he or she has to paint the picture that he or she was the victim and couldn’t take it anymore therefore had to end the relationship.
The narcissist will not end the relationship until he or she already have someone else to get a narcissistic supply from and waiting for them. The narcissist will end the relationship with you pretending that the reason is he or she can live with you anymore because you are being difficult. We know that is not true however it is an excuse for them to manipulate you and make you feel guilty for he or she is leaving you. That something may result in you want to fix the relationship and if you do that means you are giving the narcissist the narcissistic supply that he or she is desperate for. For example, my ex-narcissist said that I made him look older although he was 10 years older than me, and I accepted him despite being older as I didn’t think age is the matter at that time. I broke up with the narcissist as I already knew that he had another supply with another woman who is 20 years younger than him at work. That’s why he made the comment that I made him older. So, you will find out dysfunctional things like that may drive you crazy however you have to remain calm. know who you are. You have to decide what is acceptable to you if the narcissistic broke up with you rejoice and celebrate do not waste a moment feeling guilty or shame.
One of the things the narcissist will do when breaking up with you is using his or her enablers. If you did not hear my episode where I discuss the narcissist enablers, I will put the link below for you to check it out. The narcissist enablers will abuse you and make you think that it was because of you the narcissist left the relationship. They might call you difficult or even crazy. You have to protect yourself from the narcissist enablers and do not listen to them at all or pay attention to their toxic comments.
Another way the narcissist might break up with you is to make it sudden and ruthless to provoke you. For example, one minute you are with the narcissist, and everything is fine and no arguments the next minute the narcissist will come to you and say that he or she is leaving because they cannot take it anymore. The reason for this action is to make you think like crazy about what the hell went wrong and what did you do wrong in order for the narcissist to say such a thing and end the relationship all of the sudden. Of course, when you go through this negative cycle plus the emotions of a breakup you will be depressed or even react inappropriately without thinking and that is what the narcissist wants you to do. Do not expect conversation on what went wrong, nor apologies or remorse. Regardless of how long the relationship was the narcissist does not care about it and not even recognising that he or she did something bad and nor proper and don’t expect an apology.
Lastly, one of the final things that the pathological narcissist may do to break up with you is to try and harm your reputation. The narcissist may go around to people and say that you committed an affair or in my case, the narcissist denied knowing that I was married before with two children. It is quite hilarious when I even think about it, and I just smile because I know the truth and what happened. So, I don’t need to explain to anyone my situation. You have to remain calm during the accusations because they are not true, and you live your life and be happy. The narcissist will lose his or her mind and you will see how needy, and they might even stalk you as it happened to me, and I had to get a court order for protection. Let the narcissist say or do whatever he or she wants the only people who will believe the narcissist is the enablers and people who are dysfunctional themselves. People who love you and know you will never believe lies about you and they will come and talk to you about it first before making a judgment. people who love will never gossip behind your back and create that negative bad energy around you.
The bottom line is I want you to remember it doesn’t matter who ended the relationship. Whether you did or the narcissist ended the relationship. Celebrate that you left the narcissist. For me, I wake up every single day and I thank God that I am out of the narcissistic relationship and that I am fully protected. Appreciate that you will be happy after you heal yourself and have faith that you will feel joy and experience real, true, genuine love again. You will feel amazing, and the narcissist did not stop you from being the happiest person on the planet.
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