Have you ever been with a narcissist who constantly asks you what you are thinking? Well, I have. It became creepy later and I felt like the narcissist was obsessed with my thoughts and how my mind work and my weakness I felt as if he was looking for something to catch. It was weird.
I just want to make something clear that not all narcissists want to know what you are thinking. It is only some narcissists who obsess with your thoughts and want to know what you are thinking and doing.
When you are dealing with a narcissist you are not his or her main priority. The narcissist priority is how to maintain their false self and what they can get from you as narcissistic supply. It will start will the love-bombing phases. That is when the narcissist will shower you with attention, sweet texts, takes you out on beautiful dates, and even do things that please you until you feel that the person you are with is amazing, and you fall in love completely and share everything with him or her. The only reason for the love bombing is to feel self-worth and to devalue you later once he or she is done with you and no longer can get narcissistic supply from you.
During the love-bombing phase, the narcissistic works very hard to try to understand you and ask you what you are thinking. Also, the narcissist will ask you numerous questions to get to know you very well. But in the narcissist case, he or she wants to know your vulnerabilities, weakness and wants you to share them freely. Then, the narcissist will not share his or her vulnerabilities with you. Then, the narcissist will plan to use your vulnerabilities and every wound if you have ever mentioned them in order to make you comply with their needs. The narcissist may even tell the enablers to increase the pressure on you to make you comply and do what he or she wants.
If you look deep into what is inside the narcissist behaviour you will see that the only reason the narcissist wants to know what you are thinking is to plan ahead how to control you and devalue when your job is done.
That is why is so important that you recover from your trauma and any hurt before you enter any relationship. You never know who you might meet or deal with and in this case the narcissist. I was very lucky because I dealt will my vulnerabilities and luckily, I did not share any weaknesses or secrets with the narcissist. For some reason, I had my guard up after seeing few red flags that made me question the narcissist mental stability and his agenda.
In a healthy relationship, the person will not ask you all the time what you are thinking. The person would trust you and allow you to trust her/him. You are allowed to share your vulnerabilities without fear of getting exposed even if the relationship does not work.
The narcissist will always play that he or she is the victim, and they will use what you have told them in the past or shared with them in order to abuse you. The narcissist delusional thinking will make you question yourself and will be dishonest about everything and how to engage with you. The narcissist will never share emotions with you nor thoughts in order to continue manipulating you to get a narcissistic supply.
Lastly, remember that the narcissist wants to make herself or himself look like a hero in the story and paint the picture that they never did anything wrong, and he or she is the victim. The narcissist is extremely worried about losing the power to control you as long as he or she gets to know what you are thinking. This goes very deep because of the narcissist insecurities and anxiety. It is important for the narcissist to know what you are thinking to emotionally manipulate you to make sure that you always choose them and to isolate them if they can.
Remember dealing with the narcissist is dangerous because it can set you up for disappointment. If you suspect that you are being love-bombed or you are with a narcissist, make sure that you take a step back and gain an objective perspective. Also, make sure you evaluate the relationship and what is happening with the person until you are sure of what you want to do or how to move on with your life.
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